Software of the Month Club 1996 December/Software of the Month Club 1996 December.iso/pc/dos/edu/trutrans/mblooper.m32

Text File | 1996-04-21 | 26.2 KB | 969 lines

 488

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  Famous Translation Bloopers
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      By Man and Computer
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---------PAUSE 3 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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         The following
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     "translation bloopers"
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      come from a variety
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   of sources.  Many--though
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     by no means all--were
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        first published
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         as fillers in
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          a newsletter
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        for translators.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      Although such errors
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      do not show the work
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     of translators in its
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       best light, it is
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       nonetheless fairly
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       clear to everyone
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      that such outrageous
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       errors must be the
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   work of poor translators,
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     beginning translators,
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   or simply non-translators
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      out of their depth.
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      But most important,
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       these excerpts are
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             FUNNY,
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     sometimes hilariously
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      so.  Many have been
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     reprinted in a variety
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      of publications over
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     the last two decades.
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---------PAUSE 4 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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   But those who merely laugh
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      should perhaps think
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  twice:  anyone who fails to
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       seek out qualified
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      translators runs the
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      risk that their own
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     translated texts could
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    sound like the examples
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          that follow.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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             NOTE:
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           There are
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       no spelling errors
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       in these examples.
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     Or rather all spelling
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     is reproduced exactly
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        as it was in the
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        original texts.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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     In Belgium the General
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         Motors slogan
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        "Body by Fisher"
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          turned into
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      "Corpse by Fisher."
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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    "To avoid embarrassment,
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     use Parker Superquink"
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             became
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    "To avoid pregnancy..."
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      A French soft drink
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         and a Japanese
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         coffee creamer
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       failed to flourish
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         in US markets.
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       Their names were,
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         respectively,
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     "Pshitt" and "Creap."
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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    From a company promoting
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     Hong Kong and Italian
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            imports:
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---------PAUSE 4 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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  Hello!
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  How are you?
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  Dear; good friend of mine.
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  Do you want to be successful
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          in the USA?
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  You must have to open commun-
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  ication with me and 100%
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  believe me.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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  You must be going to a world
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  of professionalism and
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  newfashionably.
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  You must be able to keeping
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  your patience qualify
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  potentiality anytime.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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  You must be able to maketrue
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        and be careful!
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  You must know the time is
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             money!
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  I wish you success!
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  I wish you powerful!
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  I wish you good health and
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       happy on everyday!
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  Thank a million for your
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      patronage my letter!
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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    From a "Visitor's Card"
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      at a Russian hotel:
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     When leaving Your room
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     do not fail to forget
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       to switch off the
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     electrical gudgets....
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      The classic menu at
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  a famous Polish restaurant:
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    Salad a firm's own make.
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      Limpid red beet soup
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    with cheesy dumplings in
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     the form of a finger.
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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    A slice of bovine meat.
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    Roasted duck let loose.
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     Beef rashers beaten up
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     in the country people
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            fashion.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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       All these examples
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       came from poor or
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    inexperienced or simply
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        NON-translators.
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      But now let's see if
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     "Machine Translation"
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       fares any better.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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   In the most famous example
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    of Machine Translation,
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    "The Spirit is Willing,
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    But the Flesh is Weak."
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  may have become in Russian:
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     "The Vodka is Strong,
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    But the Meat is Rotten."
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      Machine Translation
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      advocates claim this
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     never happened, though
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  some believe it could have.
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     The following examples
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   have been fully confirmed
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         by the author.
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      Many United Nations
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     documents can be found
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       in six languages.
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       The next 9 screens
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  compare English versions of
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   UN texts with translations
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  from UN Spanish, created by
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 a well-known computer program.
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---------PAUSE 7 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      UN English Original
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  Computer Text (from Spanish)
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---------PAUSE 2 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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     ...the preamble to the
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   Organization's Charter...
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       ...the preamble to
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       the Letter of the
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        Organization...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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     ...the peoples of the
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   United Nations declare...
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      ...the towns of the
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   United Nations declare...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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        ...the civil and
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      political rights...
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   ...the straight civilians
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        and political...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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         ...including:
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     ...In such sensitive,
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       you/he/she/it are
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         specified the
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           following:
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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   ...freedom from torture or
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       cruel, inhuman or
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      degrading treatment
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       or punishment;...
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    Nobody will be subjected
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   to tortures neither to woe
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    or cruel deals, inhuman
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     or [degradientes];...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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  ...the right to recognition
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       as a person before
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           the law...
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       ...a right to the
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    reconnaissance of their
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   artificial personality...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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       ...the right to be
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       presumed innocent
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     until proved guilty...
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    ...a right to that I/he/
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     she/it/you am presumed
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    their innocence in their
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     guilt is not proven...
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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        ...the right to
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       rest and leisure;
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     ...the law to the rest
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       and I to the enjoy
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       of the free time;
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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          ...the right
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         to education;
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           ...the law
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        to the manners;
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---------PAUSE 4 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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        The lesson here,
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        if any, is this:
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      Yes, untrained human
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      translators can make
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       terrible mistakes.
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    But computer methods are
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 likely to do it all the time.
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       Unless humans are
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       willing to help...
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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     "Machine translation"
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              CAN
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      be useful in certain
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    specialized situations.
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      But even here, some
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    doubts remain concerning
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         how cost- and
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   time-effective it may be.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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         But let's not
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          pick on dumb
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           machines!
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     Back to human errors!
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     Fortunately--so far at
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        least--they are
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           far rarer.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      In a Bucharest hotel
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             lobby:
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    The lift is being fixed
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       for the next day.
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      During that time we
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        regret that you
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      will be unbearable.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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          Sign touting
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          donkey rides
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          in Thailand:
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         Would you like
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            to ride
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        on your own ass?
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---------PAUSE 4 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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     A (former) Yugoslavian
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             hotel:
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         The flattening
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       of underwear with
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        pleasure is the
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           job of the
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          chambermaid.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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 915021200  0321  01716011 1

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        In a Copenhagen
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        airline office:
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 915021200  0321  01716011 1

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       We take your bags
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         and send them
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       in all directions.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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 915021200  0321  01716011 1

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         In a Norwegian
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        cocktail lounge:
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      Ladies are requested
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      not to have children
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          at the bar.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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 915021200  0321  01716011 1

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         At a very posh
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        Acapulco hotel:
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          The manager
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         has personally
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      passed all the water
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          served here.
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---------PAUSE 6 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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      The full version of
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     this program contains
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      three times as many
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       Bloopers (and over
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  twice as much of everything
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     else) as this version.
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     See the file ORDER.DOC
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   if you wish to obtain it.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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        This is the end
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           of Part 2.
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      Part 3 will begin in
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               5
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            seconds.
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---------PAUSE 5 SECONDS--------
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----------CLEAR SCREEN----------
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 1